We usually hear nowadays that loving yourself is the best thing one can do and feel. We hear people talking about the importance of self-love because it is the most beneficial. But, we occasionally overlook or fail to understand how to indulge in self-love. What is the love of oneself? How should one practice it? How do we start doing that?

It is impossible to overestimate the value of loving oneself. While we often comfort others, we also tend to be judgmental of our behaviour when confronted with uncontrollable events. Self-love, self-care, and self-compassion may seem self-serving, and we frequently forget our boundaries for the comfort of others, yet these things are essential for a healthy mental health journey. Having a healthy relationship with oneself that allows you to reflect on your personality, how you treat yourself, and how you treat others is not selfish; it is accepting your mistakes, allowing yourself a chance to correct the mistake, and embracing your flaws or imperfections.

What is self-love?

Self-love is the appreciation and respect for one's value, worth, and personal qualities. It is the love one has for oneself. Individuals engage in a variety of behaviors in the name of self-love, particularly in this day and age when social media uses the term freely. Self-love is more than just rewarding oneself with a slice of cheesecake and a selfie. Beyond mere pleasure, it includes deeper meanings like:

• Recognizing your areas of strength and weakness

• Recognizing and respecting your emotions and mental health

• Acknowledging your flaws

• Putting your needs first

• Having patience as you develop

• Allowing for mistakes so you can learn from them

Self-love, according to some critics, is just self-indulgence and a new idea. They see a narcissistic quality in self-love which is an excessive concentration on oneself. But being in love with oneself does not guarantee an exaggerated sense of one's importance or magnificence. Self-love is attending to your needs and accepting that you are valuable. Self-love does not include raising oneself above others. Self-love, on the other hand, involves accepting both your strengths and flaws. Self-love does not permit excessive pleasure or self-indulgence. The key is to put your interests first.

Reasons for self-love

• In a relationship, how you treat yourself determines how you want to be treated.

You show an independent personality in a relationship by taking care of and respecting yourself. When you are self-assured and don't require external validation, you establish a standard. As you are aware of your deserving of the best, you won't be afraid to be left alone.

• You can better love others if you can love yourself.

By loving yourself, you can get rid of unnecessary anger, insecurity, and jealousy in your relationship.  You are best prepared to appreciate others because you have mastered the skill of self-appreciation. You are aware of how to be your best self, and this helps to emphasize your charm and attractiveness.

Practicing self-love

1. Put your physical and mental health first.

Your physical and mental health is linked, and your physical health can have an impact on your mental and emotional well-being. Your mental health is being directly and positively impacted when you start appreciating and caring for your body. Maintaining health and preventing illness requires proper nutrition and rest. That includes making wholesome dietary decisions and getting enough rest each night.

2. Being Self-Compassionate

You display self-compassion when you accept your flaws and faults with kindness and without judgment. Three elements make up self-compassion.

• Self-kindness: feeling compassion for ourselves instead of judgment, criticism, or guilt

• Recognizing our shared humanity and the fact that we are all human beings with flaws rather than seeing ourselves as isolated beings unworthy of love and belonging

• Being attentive means keeping mistakes in perspective and avoiding becoming overly identified with our flaws.

3. Avoid comparing yourself to others

It's difficult not to feel depressed when we are jealous of a friend's promotion or feel inferior because we put on 10 pounds when our neighbor is in fine shape. Stress might result from social comparisons. You may be motivated by competition and comparison in beneficial and constructive ways. They frequently make us feel stressed, anxious, guilty, and shamed, which diminishes us.

4. Set boundaries

The act of drawing a line reduces stress. To save your energy, you may occasionally need to say "no" at work or to your loved ones. Energy, power, and thinking are not distributed equally in one-sided relationships. Establish healthy boundaries to protect your needs and make an effort to reflect.

5, Accept yourself as you are or practice forgiving yourself

Develop strategies to stop self-hatred in any form. Find strategies to heal and forgive yourself for your past deeds. Don't concentrate on your faults and regrets if you want to practice self-love. Instead of blaming yourself for events that were most likely beyond your control, practice self-forgiveness.

Don't be hard on yourself. Positive affirmations can increase self-esteem and lessen social anxiety. Recognize that you're an honest person trying your best. Another technique to practice self-love is to shift your viewpoint and concentrate on the things for which you are glad and appreciative.

Conclusion:

Self-love is not merely a trendy concept but a fundamental pillar of mental well-being and healthy relationships. It encompasses recognizing and valuing one's strengths and weaknesses, prioritizing personal needs, and practicing self-compassion and forgiveness. While misconceptions may portray self-love as narcissistic or indulgent, its essence lies in fostering a deep appreciation and respect for oneself without elevating it above others. By nurturing self-love through prioritizing physical and mental health, setting boundaries, and embracing imperfections, individuals pave the way for genuine happiness, fulfillment, and the capacity to love others more deeply.

Online Counselling can play a pivotal role in guiding individuals through this process, offering a safe space to explore emotions, confront self-criticism, and develop strategies for self-compassion and growth. By seeking help from the Best Psychologist in India, individuals can learn to prioritize their physical and mental health, set healthy boundaries, and cultivate a deeper understanding of themselves. Ultimately, the journey of self-love is a profound and transformative process that enables individuals to embrace their authentic selves and lead more fulfilling lives.

Contribution: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist, life coach & mentor TalktoAngel & Dr Sakshi Kochhar Psychologist